You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.


Try this exercise: Make a list of the 5 most important people in your life (in no particular order). This short activity is super simple and will only take a minute, but has the potential to be very enlightening. Go ahead and give it a try…

When I first made my list, it went something like this:

  1. Jailen, my son
  2. Jasmine, my daughter
  3. My Dad
  4. My Sister
  5. My Best Friend

Pretty basic right? We usually have family members, friends, spouses and/or close loved ones on our list. We love these people beyond measure and would most likely do anything for them. We probably talk to them everyday, encourage them, make sacrifices for them without expectation and even splurge on them when their birthday comes around 🙂 This is normal and there is nothing wrong with that. We are supposed to value the people we love.

Now, the problem occurs when we forget to put the most important person in our life on that list…



Are you listed on your list of the 5 most important people in your life? If you are then great! You are on the right track my friend. Keep doing what you’re doing. Now for those of us who left ourselves out… Why? Did you forget about you, again? Were you so focused on everyone else that you were subconsciously placed on the backburner? Do you feel that it’s even necessary to put yourself on that list?

Think about this: How often do you speak loving, encouraging words to yourself? How often do you make sacrifices for yourself? Do you have high expectations for your life and beat yourself up when you make a mistake or fall off course? When is the last time you splurged on yourself, pampered yourself or even forgave yourself?



So many of us have been taught to put the needs of others in front of our own. In fact, a lot of mothers live by the mantra “My children come first!” That sounds good and selfless and all, but let’s examine that idea further. In reality how much of a good mother can we be if we are not whole within ourselves? How attentive can we truly be to our child when we are exhausted? How often do we play and engage with our child when we are feeling depressed? Think about it?

I’m not suggesting that you ignore the needs of others and excessively focus on yourself. What I’m saying is that you have to take care of yourself first: Mentally, Physically and Emotionally! This is so important and we have to remember that…



We have been taught to believe that being a good parent, spouse or even person means we must sacrifice ourselves. We feel guilty if we set aside “me-time” or tell our friend that we can’t help out with this one. We are frowned upon if we save for a new handbag or a pamper day just for us. It’s almost like Self-Love is the new Selfish or even Narcissistic!

Self-Love and Narcissism are two different things. Self-Love and Selfishness are two different things. Self-Love is having ¹regard for your own well-being and happiness. Narcissism is ²excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance and being selfish means  you ³lack consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure. See the difference? LOVE YOU BOO!



I know the majority of us have heard this metaphor and we have to remember that it’s true! You can’t give to others what you do not have yourself. You have to fill your cup before you can truly share your love.

Think about the 5 most important people in your life. They need you! They need you to be centered. They need you to be grounded. They need you to be happy. They need you to be healthy. They need you to be well mentally and emotionally. They don’t need a broken version of you. They need the best version of you. If you break down, who is going to take your place in their life?



Self-Love is extremely important, so love yourself like there is no tomorrow!

Also, remember that you set the standard. Your relationship with yourself will affect every other relationship in your life. Think about it… How do you expect someone else to love you unconditionally when you don’t even show love to yourself? It all begins with you. Thanks for growing with me.


Neisha Serene


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